A cosmic disclaimer. A reminder we all signed without reading the fine print.
Body’s Warranty Policy
“The True Self has possession of this body for a limited time. The body is to be used for activities deemed necessary by the True Self and should not be used for anything else. The use of the body will be revoked at an unknown time in the future. This revocation may occur without notice, anywhere, anytime, and in any manner. There will be no opportunity for negotiation or extensions. By accepting this agreement, you acknowledge that the terms are final and non-negotiable.”
This shirt is equal parts humor and existential wake-up call—a playful contract with a very real reminder: your time in this body is temporary, unrenewable, and beyond your control. So use it well. Use it intentionally. Use it for what your True Self actually wants, not what you’ve been conditioned to perform.
Wear it when you need perspective.
Wear it when you’re choosing what actually matters.
Wear it because the fine print of existence deserves a moment in the spotlight.
No warranties.
No extensions.
Just the one body—make the agreement worth it.
Product features
- Lightweight 4.2 oz fabric for breathable all-day wear
- Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (fiber content varies by color)
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape for long-lasting shape
- Retail fit with side seams and tear-away label for clean finish
- DTF inner neck labels and made in Nicaragua
| |
XS |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
| Width, in |
16.50 |
17.99 |
20.00 |
21.97 |
23.98 |
25.98 |
| Length, in |
26.97 |
27.99 |
28.98 |
30.00 |
30.98 |
32.01 |
| Sleeve length, in |
25.00 |
26.93 |
27.17 |
27.56 |
27.95 |
28.35 |
| Size tolerance, in |
1.00 |
1.00 |
1.00 |
1.00 |
1.00 |
1.00 |
Care instructions
- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam, or dry: medium heat
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not dryclean
